Domestic violence is often the elephant in the room. It can happen to anyone and doesn’t discriminate.
That was the message at the SPARK Foundation of Lloydminster’s community luncheon to conclude Family Violence Awareness Month.
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The event, held Nov. 20 in the OTS Room at the Servus Sports Centre, featured guest speaker Denova Gibson of the Alberta Council for Women’s Shelters (ACWS).
The Camrose resident delivered a presentation, called Shine a Light on Family Violence: Turning Awareness into Action, to help community members identify signs of domestic and family violence.
“ACWS mainly focuses on violence against women, but domestic violence doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone, of any gender or identity. Domestic violence often progresses over time,” said Gibson, noting the impressive work being done in Lloydminster to combat it.
“The level of community engagement and community support is impressive,” she added. “Seeing the support — the financial support they’ve received to make necessary upgrades to continue to provide that shelter — is phenomenal.”
The numbers associated with reported domestic violence in Alberta are stark. However, according to Gibson, help is available and there is hope.
“Connect with your local organizations. They can tell you survivor stories that will give you hope,” she said, reflecting on her time working in women’s shelters.
“Hearing from someone six months to a year after they’ve been in shelter — someone who’s secured employment and whose kids are doing well, that’s what gives you the hope to keep going.”
Gibson also spoke about the need to break generational cycles of domestic abuse.
“If survivors grew up in a home where that’s normalized behaviour, people can develop a belief that it’s normal,” she said. “We’re starting to have a language to turn that around and make it part of common conversation.”
For the SPARK Foundation’s chief program officer, Kathryn Ford, the day was about encouraging everyone to play a role in creating change.
Taylor Weaver – Meridian Source
“Real change can only happen when the community comes together — when the men, all the good guys, come together and say, ‘This is wrong,’” said Ford.
“There are men who are supporters, who look out for others and treat people in their lives well. There’s also, however, that group of people who use abusive behaviours.
“We can’t create change without men and women, without all people.”
Ford also highlighted the stigma associated with leaving an abusive relationship.
“People often ask, ‘Well, why don’t you just leave if it’s that bad?’ It’s not that easy,” she said. “I can’t emphasize enough how much courage and strength it takes to break free from that control and fear.
“It wears you down to a place where you believe the bad things about yourself. Your emotional, mental and physical strength is drained. Knowing the community supports and believes in you is empowering and can help a person get to the other side.”
For more information on the SPARK Foundation of Lloydminster and the services they offer, visit sparklloydminster.ca.
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